so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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