Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize