I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize