Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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