how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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