I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
how do flat chested girls get laid?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
