He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
