You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
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Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
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And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
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