More tranny stories later!
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
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