if i can run in heels then i can drive
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
