afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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