are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
You were trust falling into bushes
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
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