I'm really into asian looking animals
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
