What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
