i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
