I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
