all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
