The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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