I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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