If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize