He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
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an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
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Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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