too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
