You made me cry and you don't even care
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize