he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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