We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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