tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've created a new STD.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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