i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
