'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
