guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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