im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
