Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
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I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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