I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
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all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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