she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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