Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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