I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
farters have to be the big spoon...
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the barista slut.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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