I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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