I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
