I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I skipped work to stalk him.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
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I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
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When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize