Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
please come you make the beer taste better
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
