woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
