I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
