i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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