Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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