i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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