I haven't been this sober since birth.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
The air was thick with penises
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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