hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
