is your mom at the bar?
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
