when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
