Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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