I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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