You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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