Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
