How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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