Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
