I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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